


To Feel Your Heartbeat Next To Mine

by littlefandom



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Dancing, Dreams, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Heartbeats, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, Imagination, Inspierd By 3B Trailer, M/M, Magnus Bane's Cat Eyes, Near Death Experiences, POV Magnus Bane, Pain, Sad Magnus, Spoilers for 3b, Worried Alec Lightwood, malec dance scene, season 3b
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 18:25:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17647634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlefandom/pseuds/littlefandom
Summary: And suddenly, they’re dancing.Magnus decides that he could stay like this forever. He has all he needs. His lover, his Alexander is close to him, holding him and he's not scared. He knows Alec will never let go.Alec smiles softly the next time he dips him, his eyes crinkling at the corners. It’s one of Magnus’ favourite smiles, the one that truly means happiness and comfort. He doesn’t get to see it a lot these days.Or, the Malec dance scene, but a bit differently.





	To Feel Your Heartbeat Next To Mine

**Author's Note:**

> So yes, I got inspierd by the trailer, because of how amazing malec scene we're gonna get in 3b. This one is based on what we saw of the dance scene and one of the theories regarding it.  
> Enjoy the read!

And suddenly, they’re dancing.

Alec just sweeps him up in his arms, like it was some common thing, their routine, something they do every day.

One moment Magnus was standing in the middle of the living room and now Alec is spinning him around and dipping lightly.

He may not know where this whole thing came from, but he resorts he likes it.

No, he _loves_ it.

Being close to Alec, being able to feel his heartbeat as they press their chests flush together. He can feel his glamour slipping, but he doesn’t care. He knows Alec finds him beautiful, no matter what eyes.

They keep swaying to the soft music playing around the loft. There is a certain fineness in Alec's moves. Something Magnus wouldn't expect from him. They're spinning and taking a bit tentative steps. But they're doing good. More than good. It feels amazing.

Magnus decides that he could stay like this forever. He has all he needs. His lover, his Alexander is close to him, holding him and he's not scared. He knows Alec will never let go.

He doesn’t know how much times passes, doesn’t really care. The whole world might have been on fire and still, Magnus would only care for his Shadowhunter. As long as he’s safe, that’s what matters the most.

Alec smiles softly the next time he dips him, his eyes crinkling at the corners. It’s one of Magnus’ favourite smiles, the one that truly means happiness and comfort. He doesn’t get to see it a lot these days.

Magnus closes his eyes and lets that image burn into his memory. Alec straightens their position and Magnus can feel him leaning in close, can feel his breath ghosting on his face and he smiles at the realization of what’s to come.

But instead of feeling Alec’s lips on his, his lover begins to speak.

“You need to wake up, baby.”

Magnus opens his eyes, confused at what he means. Alec still smiles, and he reaches with his palms to cup his face, creasing his cheeks gently.

And Magnus wants to ask, wants to know what he means, because he’s very much awake. He’s here, with Alec, in their home, and it’s lovely. It feels like none of their worries can reach them here. And Magnus doesn’t plan to let go of this feeling.

It feels perfect.

Way too perfect.

Abruptly, Magnus recognizes that he doesn’t really know how he got here. The last thing he remembers is being in Alec’s office…

He knows his glamour is down, but it isn’t right. He doesn’t have his magic, his cat eyes are gone.

He remembers the feeling of choking on blood, the inability to breathe. He vaguely recalls the picture of Alec’s concerned face as he began to step towards him. And then, there was darkness.

But it isn’t true. Alec is right here, he’s smiling and his beautiful, hazel eyes are shining in the sunlight. There’s no hint of this concern Magnus saw what feels just like a second ago.

“You need to come back to the real world.” Alec whispers as his eyes settle on Magnus’.

Magnus reaches with his hands and wraps them around Alexander’s neck. What does he mean? This is real. _They_ are real. Magnus can sense it, can feel Alec’s steady pulse underneath his palm.

“You have to go back. They need you.” Alec speaks again.

Who? He has everything he needs right here.

“I need you.” His boyfriend adds.

“I’m right here.” Magnus is surprised at how weak and feeble his voice sounds. He barely gets these words out.

Alec shakes his head lightly, his expression a bit amused, the smile still playing at the corner of his lips.

“No,” He starts. “no, you’re not. Not really.”

Magnus looks at him confused, but a part of him has already figured this whole thing out. But he doesn’t want to listen to that part. Not now, not ever.

Alec huffs out a small laugh and leans in to kiss him. Magnus gets lost in the feeling of their lips brushing together, but way too soon for his liking, Alec pulls back.

“I love you. And I need you back with me. The real me.” He says, staring deep into Magnus’ eyes, so hard that he has a feeling his Shadowhunter can see his soul.

“I love you too.” Magnus whispers and his arms tighten around his lover. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“That’s why you need to wake up, love.” Alec smiles again and hugs him as tightly as he. Magnus buries his head into his shoulder and feels the tears building up in his eyes.

“I can’t.” He speaks, his voice muffled by the material of Alec’s suit jacket, but it’s enough for his lover to hear him. “I’m scared.” He admits.

“I am too.” Alec replies and Magnus feels his hands running up and down his back lightly in a soothing gesture. “Because you’re not there with me.” He continues as he pulls back to meet Magnus’ eyes again. “And we can only figure this out, when we’re together.”

“I want to stay here. With you.” Magnus desperately clings onto him. “This is all I need. I want nothing more.”

Here he has Alec, he has his magic. That’s enough. Always was and always will be. That’s selfish of him, but he doesn’t care. He’s terrified of what he will find when he wakes up. The fear, the slowly escalating effects of losing his magic. He’ll die, he knows it. His age will catch up to him. And here, he doesn’t feel any of this panic. It’s peaceful and calm. Why would he ever want to go back.

“This isn’t real, baby.” Alec reminds him, ever the pragmatic and responsible one. Even this imaginative version of him is like this. “And you have a family that needs you back there.”

“Here I have you.” Magnus tries.

“Yes, but I’m back there too. And so are the others.”

Magnus thinks of Catarina, Madzie, Raphael, Isabelle, Clary, Simon, Luke, Jace… of everyone. His family. He never thought he’d find people who would accept him just the way he is.

“They love you.” Alec prompts. “You can’t leave them too.”

He knows he can’t. It would be devastating and he never wants to cause them pain.

And then he thinks of Alexander. Of how he last saw him. Worry clear on his face, the fear he must be feeling now, when Magnus is lying unconscious on his office’s floor.

This one here is not _his_ Alec. He might look like him and sound like him, but he’ll never be _his_ Alexander.

“I know.” Magnus agrees with Alec’s earlier words. “But I can’t-, I don’t know how-“

“Just close your eyes and breathe.” Alec advices him. “We’ll always find our way back to each other.”

Magnus does as he’s told and slips his eyes shut. Breathing in deeply. He swears he can here Alec’s voice, but not the soft one which spoke to him a second before, not _this_ Alec’s voice, not the one’s who’s holding him in his arms now, but _his_ Alexander’s, back at home.

_Magnus, please.. no, wake up. Please don’t leave me. Please, I love you._

He takes on last deep breath and opens his eyes.

 

He doesn’t feel like he’s choking anymore, but his chest still hurts and it’s hard to breath. His eyes are open, but it’s like his brain hasn’t caught up to them yet, and he can’t see anything. When he finally does, it’s blurry and unfocused, but he’s met with his lover’s eyes.

Alec is looking down on him, tears streaming down his cheeks, his expression a mix of fear, grief and pain. He lets out a long exhale as Magnus blinks a few time to regain his focus. He vaguely registers another person in the room. Catarina is kneeling next to Alec, blue magic only now dying at the ends of her fingers.

“Magnus, I thought-“ Alec starts, but then a sob escapes his throat. Magnus reaches with his hand to crease his boyfriend’s arm, let him know he’s really here, that he’s okay.

Alec moves to hug him, clinging tightly onto his body and sobbing into his shoulder. Magnus lets him. It’s enough for him to feel his lover’s heartbeat now. It’s uneven, way too fast, but it lets Magnus know that he’s here too.

“I can’t lose you. I can’t.” Alec cries into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry Magnus, I’m sorry.”

Magnus hugs him back, way weaker than he does, but he tries. He feels exhausted, too tired to tell Alec that none of this is his fault. He already said it before, a lot of times. But his Shadowhunter continues to blame himself for all this mess. Magnus doesn't feel like he could speak now, but he tries to give the reassurance with his comforting touch. He’ll do anything to reassure Alexander now. It’s going to be fine, they’ll figure this out together.

“I thought you were gone, I-“ Alec still rumbles, his voice wet for crying. “I can’t-, no I-“

“We’ll always find our way back to each other.” Magnus whispers faintly and another sob overcomes Alec’s body.

He doesn’t know how long that stay like this. How long Alec cries in his arms, on the floor in his office. He doesn’t care. As long as he has Alexander, as long as they’re both here, together, nothing else matters.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated :) As much as I don't want it to be true, I think it's possible that the dance scene might be a dream… Let's just wait and see! In the meantime, I made an analysis of the trailer, which you can find on my tumblr [little-fandom](http://little-fandom.tumblr.com) !


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